Monday, July 28, 2008

Feeling better than I know I am

I find it funny (though slightly annoying) that there are so many people who think that with my diagnosis that my cancer has returned comes a life of staying home and not going to the office. I suppose that the experience that many have with loved ones and acquaintances who have or have had cancer (especially in the later stages) would lead them to this conclusion. But it still sets me back abit when folks express surprise when they learn that I put in full work weeks (and then some), have no pain to speak of and am actually feeling pretty good.

Now, to be honest, I know that part of my feeling of well-being has to do with the steroids I am taking that have helped to keep my lymphnodes under control. With an impaired diaphragm (I really only function on a lung and a half right now), clots in my liver, extremely dry eyes that impair my vision, and Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia re-emerging, I know that I feel better than I really am. But having said all that, I really feel like I am living a fairly normal, even interesting, life. I have no real desire or need to change that. Mind you, travel has been greatly curtailed due to the uncertainty of my treatment schedule. Given my clot and breathing issues, we are wondering if air travel is wise. I am scheduled to see a specialist about the liver on Wednesday, so we will ask then. I do know that I found breathing difficult when I was flying home from Europe last May, but blamed that on the shingles. That might not have been the cause after all, I guess.

Thank you to each of you who are praying for us during these days. Pray that I might have the wisdon to know how to pace myself. I do find that when my mortality is more up in the air, that I tend to try to squeeze even more in. I am probably guilty of that right now...energized by steroids.

1 comment:

Stacy Harp said...

Hey GP, or Glenster, or Glen a roo....:)

I love your writing, it's cool and real. A lot of blogs are so boring, but not yours.

I found out today that I have very very severe anemia, it apparently was so bad that my doc said that if it was much lower I'd need a transfusion. He actually asked me if I've passed out lately.....

Nope...and that's because I drink ICED TEA :)

...which I actually read somewhere can deplete you of iron. I'm not sure about that though.

Anyway, keep on writing the truth even if you don't feel it. It's a good thing :)