Friday, July 25, 2008

Bad Night

Was kind of a tough night. Leg and foot cramps, night sweats, bad dreams from the sleeping pills that I need to knock me out due to the steroids I am taking, and I kept waking up with my mind racing 100 miles an hour. Plus, reading through the diagnosis that my doctors back at Princess Margaret gave me to give to the oncologists here in Mississuaga just before I went to bed didn't help. It appears that I have some "intrahepatic bland thrombosis of the hepatic veins" in my liver with "findings in keeping with Budd-Chiari syndrome"; all of which sounded scary when I went to bed. Now that I am up and have looked it up, it seems twice as scary.

In for some interesting days, it appears. It does get hard sometimes. My faith in the Lord is unshaken. But as I ponder what I yearn for (health, normality - whatever that is ), I realize that I am not sure what I yearn for. The past 6 years of going through cancer, shingles twice, chemo (and all of the complications), and finally a stem cell transplant have been the most fruitful time of my life. Would I dare trade them in for a more "normal" life?

2 comments:

Stacy Harp said...

Hi...

It sounds like all of your health problems are bearing fruit for you spiritually. But I bet it does get old to not know what is coming of it all. I'm sorry you are in pain and having to deal with what you're going through.

When my mom had cancer she HATED taking sleeping pills because they gave her nightmares.

I had a bad night last night myself, but not because of cancer - because I couldn't sleep because someone really hurt me yesterday. I tend to ruminate on things and it's draining, but then I can't sleep! AUGH....

Anyway...we'll see you soon.

Glenn Penner said...

Hey Stacy. I will pray for your situation, just as I know you pray for mine.