Friday, January 30, 2009

I'm grumpy

grumpy I've been grumpy again lately and I hate it!  Every now and then, I seem to get into these ruts where I have to really watch what I say and even then I am sure that I come off harsher than I would like.  Yes, I could excuse it on my health.  But I know that it's more than that.  Yes, it's part of my personality.  But that's not a good enough excuse. And yes, I am probably being harder on myself than I need to do be.  Now, that's a part of my personality!

I wish I could be like some of my friends and colleagues; more even tempered, patient and thoughtful. I yearn to be more like Christ but sometimes forget that He was impatient from time to time too.  This is no excuse for sinful behaviour, but perhaps it's time to give myself a bit of a break and stop flagellating myself so much.  Not all grumpiness is out of order.  I also tend to be preoccupied with trying to put on a front that really isn't me.  I tend to be obsessed when I think someone might be irritated with me. 

"Lord, help me to know the difference; to be quick confess when necessary and to stop worrying about what others think when it is appropriate."


Matthew said...

I know the feeling. Just the other week something that had been bothering me for a while flared up again and it just showed in how I spoke and acted. I have good Christian friends who are willing to be honest with me, though, and one of them remarked, "Gee Matt, you're extra caustic today." The Holy Spirit rebuked me pretty good through that... I think that surrounding ourselves like the friends and colleagues you mentioned is a really helpful part of all this. God bless in your fight with sin and despair!

Laurel said...

I have been praying for you and Danita as I pray for my persecuted brothers and sisters in prison. You are being held in prison, in a way, by cancer.... I pray your fellow prisoners (others suffering from cancer) will be encouraged by your faith in Jesus.... I pray your family, waiting for you outside the prison, will be strong and faithful and that God would give them the words they need and the words to give to you to encourage you.... I pray the authorities around you (here the analogy kind of falls apart, but the prayers don't), Drs, nurses, other health-care workers taking care of you, would also be encouraged by your faith in Christ. As I have read from you many times, this does not mean you are perfect, but that you "have an answer for the hope within you" -- for the peace you experience when you go to the Father for forgiveness when you do fail.

God bless you, Glenn, as you go through this trial. And please tell Danita I pray for her just as much, if not more some days, because I, too, have a husband who is in great pain and cannot be the provider/support he thinks he should be because of the pain and the medication he's on. We have been going through this together for over 20 years now and I know that in many ways it is harder on the spouse than it is on the patient. Please tell her also, if she doesn't already have someone who's been there, I don't mind sending you a private message with my email address.

Marilyn said...

Dear Glenn
Well if I wouldn't know better than I would have thought that I wrote that about myself what you wrote and shared about you being grumpy and so forth.Sounds so much like me.
Be encouraged Glen it's not an easy battle that your facing and you can't always be cheerful.Jesus wasn't either.When a person is weak than EVERYTHING gets on the nerves.And I consider myself a pretty patient person.And I get frusterated and flare up and not talk when asked something.Man,I hate that about myself.Then when I feel better I could beat myself up over being that way.But God still has a work in us to perfect us.
I'll be praying for you and interceding for you extra special tonight that the Lord should uphold you and send you peace. Be of good courage,and he shall strengthen your heart,all ye that hope in the Lord.Psalm.31:24
Glenn you are a great man of God and I've been greatly blessed by you. Praying for you.