Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Went to the office today

As the title of this blogs indicates, I spent the day at the office today and really enjoyed being with that great gang of people I call our staff.  It has been over a week since I was able to.  Had a transfusion yesterday which I am sure is part of the reason I was feeling well enough to go in today. 

Tomorrow I am going in for another blood work to see if I need another transfusion.  As I was so low last time, there is a good chance that I would benefit by another one. 

Starting to move a few of my things from the office to my home office (like my iPod dock). I suspect that one of these days, I will have to move a lot more of it and have to commandeer the family room, especially if I end up moving my library here (which I really should do). I want to remain as vital and effective as I can, wherever I am.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Update

After several days of feeling increasingly weak (the stairs in this house are becoming mountains), I went to have my blood levels checked today and discovered that my hemoglobin was down to 65.  Hence, time for a transfusion again.  So, tomorrow morning, I will get another couple of units and then meet with Dr. Sauls for the first time in the afternoon.  He is involved in what is called "pain and symptom management" (also known as palliative care). It is hoped that he will be able to know how to best help me at this time as I seek to live as actively as I can in my circumstances.  "Palliative care"... I know that people often get this confused with hospice care and that such confusion is inaccurate (probably why they call it "pain and symptom management") but I really don't like admitting to needing. Funny how such phrases carry such baggage.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

When God seems to be silent

Perhaps when God seems to be silent, it is not because nobody is speaking; perhaps it is because we are unable or unwilling to hear what is being said.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Is Healing in the Atonement?

Given my present situation, it is common for people to seek to remind to me that "healing in the atonement,"  basing their belief mostly on Isaiah 53:3-4 which reads, 
 
    He was despised and rejected by men;
        a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
    and as one from whom men hide their faces
        he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
    Surely he has borne our griefs
        and carried our sorrows;
    yet we esteemed him stricken,
        smitten by God, and afflicted. (ESV)

But is this what these verses teach?

There are two New Testament passages that are often seen to be directly quoting Isaiah 53:4. The most obvious quote is, as we have already noted, Matthew 8:17 but in Matthew's context, as we shall see below, the issue seems to be the incarnation rather than the atonement. Many assume that 1 Peter 2:24 also quotes Isaiah 53:4, but as Erickson points out, this assumption is not as clear as some would believe.[1] Peter gives none of the typical indications that he is quoting an Old Testament passage. We do not find the words "as it is written" or any other similar formula or phrase. Rather, it seems likelier that he is referring to the whole of Isaiah 53, and particularly to verse 12.[2] How, then, are we to understand how Jesus fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah 53:4? An in-depth investigation becomes essential at this point.

Isaiah 53:4 reads, "Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried."[3] The primary meaning of the first noun, chale is that of "physical sickness" or "disease,"[4] though the term can also mean spiritual sickness, as in Isaiah 1:5 and Hosea 5:13.[5] As the New American Standard translation reflects, the word is placed in the emphatic position in the sentence. The verb nasa' has basically three separate meanings: "to lift up"; "to bear, carry, support"; "to take, take away"[6], though the predominant meaning is "to lift (up)".[7] Many interpreters take nasa' in this context as meaning to "to bear" or "to carry" vicariously[8] and, indeed, this term can refer to vicarious bearing.[9] Erickson argues, however, that in the one hundred verses listed by Brown, Driver and Biggs in which the meaning is "to bear, carry," "only six have reference to a vicarious bearing of guilt".[10] Erickson contends that the more likely rendering in Isaiah 53:4 is "has taken".[11] The verb, itself, does not mean, "to bear the punishment of," as Stott points out. "We are obliged to translate it thus only when sin is its object.[12] Erickson adds: "It should also be noted that Isaiah did not put the verb in an emphatic position; it seems that what is really important is what the suffering servant has taken, not how he has taken it."[13]

The second noun in this passage mak'ov only appears sixteen times in the entire Old Testament, in which at least eleven occurrences refer to mental suffering.[14] Gesenius calls it "pain of soul."[15] Erickson says, "The basic idea conveyed by the word is mental pain, sorrow, or distress resulting from the toilsomeness of life, including its physical burdens."[16] The likeliest meaning here, then, would seem to be that which the New American Standard and New International Version have adopted, "sorrows" or perhaps distress, perhaps as a result of physical infirmities."[17] The second verb sabal means basically "to carry a heavy load."[18] The word appears nine times in the Old Testament. Lamentations 5:7 and Isaiah 53:11 (in particular) convey the idea of vicarious bearing. In the remaining instances, sabal merely means "'carrying a load'; there is no connotation of vicariousness."[19] While the verb in Isaiah 53:4 may hold the concept of vicarious bearing, as some believe,[20] there is no reason to demand that it must. As Erickson points out, "Here again, just as in the first clause, the emphasis is on what the suffering servant has carried rather than on how he has carried it."[21]

It must be admitted that there are various ways in which this verse may be taken. It does seem that Isaiah in verse 4 is speaking of actual physical and mental afflictions, though not necessarily to a vicarious bearing of them, and as Erickson states, "in Matthew's quotation of this passage, we find something very similar."[22] Matthew's rendering of Isaiah 53:4 is quite unusual because it follows neither the LXX or Targum, both of which spiritualize the Hebrew.[23] Carson holds that Matthew 8:17 is most likely Matthew's own translation of Isaiah 53:4, given the significant alterations from either the LXX or the Targum.[24] One significant difference between the LXX (which Matthew often quotes in his gospel) and his quotation of Isaiah is in his substitution of verbs in the first phrase of Isaiah's passage. In the LXX, the phrase used the verb phero, which could conceivably be translated as "bearing vicariously." Matthew, however, substitutes lambano for phero, a word nowhere used in connection with vicarious bearing of guilt or anything similar.[25] Lambano is merely an extraordinarily common word with little or no theological significance. In Matthew 8:17, it simply means "to take away" or "remove."[26]

The second verb bastazo is very close in meaning to sabal, meaning "to bear" or "to carry" but "in none of its usages does it signify ‘to bear vicariously.'"[27] Perhaps what it meant here is a sympathetic bearing such as we find in Galatians 6:2.[28] Robertson writes, "The passage as Mt. employs it, has no bearing on the doctrine of the atonement."[29] But, he adds, "Jesus does show his sympathy with us. Christ's sympathy with the sufferers was so intense that he really felt their weaknesses and pains. In our burdens Jesus steps under the load with us and helps us carry on."[30] Erickson concurs: "What we are suggesting here, then is that both Matthew and Isaiah are referring to actual physical sicknesses and mental distresses rather than sins."[31] Erickson continues, "It seems likelier that they are referring to a sympathetic bearing of the troubles of this life. If this is the proper interpretation, Jesus ‘took our infirmities and bore our diseases' by becoming incarnate rather than by offering atonement."[32]

R.T. France notes that for Matthew, it is important that Jesus be seen to fulfill the role of the Isaianic Servant of the Lord.[33] Yet, as France points out, "it is remarkable that neither of these passages (Matt. 8:17 or Isa. 53:4) refers to the distinctive role of redemptive suffering, either in the specific words cited or in the aspect of Jesus' ministry to which they are applied."[34] "It is in the totality of his life and ministry, not only in its redemptive aspect, that Matthew delights to trace Jesus' fulfillment of the scriptural pattern."[35]

We conclude by noting that this explanation of how Isaiah's prophecy was fulfilled answers the chronological difficulties of how the effects of the atonement could actually be said to be in effect before the atonement was even accomplished. If the atonement were in view in Matthew 8:17, it is hard to explain why Matthew quotes this verse in a context some time before Christ’s actual death. If, however, it is the incarnation that is in view here (and in Isaiah 53:4), and not the atonement, then there is no chronological difficulty at all. This view also best fits the context and syntax of each passage. We conclude, therefore, that the emphasis of Matthew 8:17 and Isaiah 53:4 is the incarnation rather than the atonement.

In summary, while Isaiah 53 (as a chapter) primarily emphasizes the sacrificial work of the Suffering Servant on behalf of mankind's sin, Matthew quotes these verses in 8:17 in reference to His ministry before He goes to the cross. In Matthew’s mind, he sees the prophecy of Isaiah 53:3-4 fulfilled in Jesus’ incarnation rather than the atonement, as He heals the sick (8:1-16).

Matthew 8:17 records that as a result of the healing ministry of Jesus (vv. 1-16), the prophecy of Isaiah 53:4 was fulfilled, "He Himself took our infirmities and carried away our diseases."

In other words, by coming and living among us, Jesus took on all aspects of what it meant to live in a fallen world. As He saw the suffering of people, his sympathy was so intense that he actually felt their pain and weaknesses. He saw the burdens that many carried, and He stepped under the load with us and helped carry it.

In becoming a man, Jesus "took our infirmities and bore our diseases." By coming to earth, he entered into the very conditions that we find here, including sorrow, sickness, and suffering. Experiencing sickness and sorrow himself, and sympathizing as he did with human suffering, he was moved to alleviate the miseries of this life when He witnessed them.[36] Time and time again we see throughout the gospels that Jesus healed because He pitied.[37] By means of His deep sympathy or compassion, Jesus entered "fully and personally into the sorrows of those whom He came to rescue."[38] As Bredin puts it, "He enters into the fears and pain, the tears and the worries and the anxieties of people in order to transform them."[39] 

Hence, do I believe in healing?  Yes, but it comes through the mercy and grace of my Lord alone.

____________________________________

[1] Millard Erickson, Christian Theology. Baker Book House, 1985: 841

[2] Ibid.; D. Edmond Hiebert, First Peter. Moody Press, 1984: 176-180; E.G. Selwyn, The First Epistle of St. Peter. Macmillan & Co. Ltd., 1961: 180

[3] New American Standard Bible, The Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995

[4] As reflected in translations such as the New Revised Standard Version and New International Version

[5] Francis Brown, S.R. Driver, and Charles A. Biggs. Hebrew and English Lexicon of the Old Testament. Oxford University, 1955: 318; William Gesenius, Hebrew-Chaldee Lexicon to the Old Testament. trans. Samuel Prideaux Tregelles. Baker Book House, 1857 rpt. 1979: 279-280; Carl Philip Weber, hālâ in Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament , Vol.1. ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer, and Bruce K. Waltke. Moody Press, 1980: 286-287

[6] Walter C. Kaiser, nasa' in Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, Vol.2. ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer, and Bruce K. Waltke. Moody Press, 1980: 600

[7] Erickson: 839; Gesenius: 567

[8] Kaiser, nasa': 601; Franz Delitzsch, Isaiah.William B. Eerdmans, rpt. 1983: 316-317; Derek Kidner, "Isaiah" in The New Bible Commentary: Revised . ed. D. Guthrie and J.A. Motyer. William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1970: 618

[9] e.g. Isaiah 53:12

[10] Erickson: 839

[11] As reflected in the New International Version

[12] Stott: 244

[13] Erickson: 839. Emphasis added

[14] John N. Oswalt, mak'ov in Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, Vol.1. ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer, and Bruce K. Waltke. Moody Press, 1980: 425

[15] Gesenius: 471

[16] Erickson. p.839

[17] Ibid.

[18] Brown, Driver and Briggs: 687; R.D. Patterson, sabal in Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, Vol.2. ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer, and Bruce K. Waltke. Moody Press, 1980: 616

[19] Erickson: 838-840

[20] Gesenius: 578; Patterson: 616

[21] Erickson: 840

[22] Ibid.

[23] D.A. Carson, Matthew. Expositor's Bible Commentary. Zondervan Publishing House, 1984: 205.

[24] Ibid.

[25] Erickson: 840. cf. Walter Bauer, W. F. Arndt, F. W. Gingrich, and F. W. Danker, A Greek-English Lexicon of the NT and Other Early Christian Literature. 2d ed. rev., University of Chicago, 1979: 464-465; Harold K. Moulton, The Analytical Greek Lexicon Revised . Zondervan Publishing House, 1978: 246

[26] Bauer, Arndt, Gingrich and Danker: 464; Louw and Nida: 270

[27] Erickson: 840

[28] Ibid.; A.T. Robertson, Word Pictures in the New Testament. Vol.1. Matthew and Mark. Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1930: 67; A.B. Bruce, Matthew. The Expositor's Greek Testament. William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1900, rpt. 1980: 141; John MacArthur, Jr., Charismatic Chaos. Zondervan Publishing House, 1992: 104

[29] Robertson: 67

[30] Ibid.

[31] Erickson: 840

[32] Ibid.

[33] e.g. Matt. 3:15 - Isa. 53; Matt. 8:17 - Isa. 53:4; Matt. 12:15-21 - Isa. 42:1-4; Matt. 27:57 - Isa. 53:11

[34] R.T. France, "Servant of Yahweh" in Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels. ed. Joel B. Green, Scot McKnight, I. Howard Marshall. InterVarsity Press, 1992: 746

[35] R.T. France, Matthew. William. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1985: 159. cf. France, "Servant of Yahweh": 746

[36] cf. Erickson: 840

[37] e.g. Matt. 9:36; 14:14; 20:34; Mark 1:41; 5:19; 6:14; Luke 7:13

[38] MacArthur: 104.

[39] Eamonn Bredin, Rediscovering Jesus. Twenty-third Publications, 1985: 99

Missing the conference

Today is the mission's Central Canada conference and I am sitting at home, unable to attend.  Even if I weren't concerned about catching something because of my immuno deficiency and lack of stamina, I wouldn't be able to go simply because I feel so poor this morning. I could barely make it up a flight of stairs or walk more than a few steps without panting like I had run a marathon. I decided to stay in my office because at least there is a washroom nearby that I don't need to navigate stairs to get to.

I recorded a short message for this conference and next week's in Edmonton (which I won't be able to make either).  It's disappointing, of course.  I always enjoyed these events, even if they were tiring.  I also wanted to hear Mr. Kim from North Korea share as well.  But I don't think that I will be able to hear him tomorrow either when he speaks at our church during the morning services (City Centre Baptist). However, as I mentioned in a text message to one of my colleagues today who is at a homeschool conference for the mission, this does give me time to pray for everyone.  And so, I find myself breathing a prayer from time to time for the speakers, asking God to use them in a great way today.  And that's a significant thing in and of itself, isn't it?

Friday, March 27, 2009

When resolution goes a little too far

arguing_cartoon Denita and I have tried throughout our married life not to go to bed angry with each other and to resolve any arguments before going to sleep.  I think that it is a sound and biblical approach (see Ephesians 4:26).  Personally, I hate it when I think that someone has anything against me, especially my wife.  And so I work hard at resolving any conflicts.

So the following story from Reuters caught my eye the other day and made me think that perhaps there may be times when one could possibly try a little too hard to resolve an argument.....

Woman arrested after shackling self to husband

Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:33pm EDT

HARTFORD, Connecticut (Reuters) - An American woman handcuffed herself to her sleeping husband in an apparent attempt to resolve an argument, but police ended up breaking into their home and charging her with assault and other crimes, authorities said on Tuesday.

Helen Sun, 37, handcuffed herself to Robert Drawbough as he slept in their Fairfield, Connecticut, home on Monday in an effort to reconcile their differences, police said.

But when Drawbough called police with his cell phone, Sun responded by biting him on the arms and torso, police said.

Police officers heard screams when they arrived at the home and forced their way in, said Chris Lyddy of the Fairfield Police Department. Sun had also changed the locks on their bedroom door.

Sun was charged with third-degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment and unlawful restraint. She was released on a $400 bond.

"I can't say I've ever seen a scenario quite like this," said Lyddy.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Home but better

Today I am working from home not because I am not feeling well but because I have a home care nurse dropping by to take care of a couple of things.  Actually I feel pretty well, which is kind of normal; I seem to alternate between days of feeling good and days of feeling not so good.  But at least the contrast is less drastic than it was a few weeks ago. My highs don't seem to be so high and my lows don't seem so low.  I can live with this, just so low as my hemoglobin level cooperate and so far they seem to be doing better in the last two weeks. 

Meanwhile, living day by day by the grace of God.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

45 minutes and that's it

Woke up this morning feeling really quite fine. Went downstairs, read the paper, had a glass of grapefruit juice and a cup of coffee and decided that, yup, I could go to work today.  I was excited. I love being with the team at VOMC.

I called up Sherry, our office administrator who lives not that far from us and asked if she could pick me up (given my dry eyes, I don't drive much anymore) and then went off to get showered and shaved.  Somewhere about that time I lost something....

Even in the shower, I felt like some of my strength was ebbing away.  I dressed and got ready but noticed that I was breathing a lot harder than usual.  "I'll shake this off," I thought.  Sitting on the front stairs getting my shoes on, I thought to myself, "Maybe I shouldn't go."  But no, I was going to work.  Then Sherry showed up and I shuffled off, oxygen tank in hand, and off we went. 

But I had a hard time catching my breath in the car and I felt increasingly nauseous.  "Do you need to go back?" Sherry asked.  "No, it's okay," I answered.

It wasn't. I wasn't.  By the time I got to the office, I knew that I had made a mistake.  I stayed for our morning prayer time and then reluctantly called my wife at her regular Tuesday morning Bible study to please come and get me (I had forgotten my keys at home and so had no way to get into the house if someone else took me back).  I lasted a whole 45 minutes at work. What a waste of everyone's time and energy!

I also know Denita was disappointed; this study is a highlight of her week. I hate being such a burden to her so much of the time.  I know she accepts it as part of our life at this stage and I honour her for it but I am saddened that my illness has to be so front and centre of her life and that of others on the mission staff.  I never wanted this.  I certainly don't deserve the graciousness that they all show to me.  But I am so blessed to have such people in my life. I hope they realize just how much I love them. 

Friday, March 20, 2009

It's a small world after all

Yes, I am at home today.  I'm rather tired today and feeling a little unsteady on my feet. 

When one has limited mobility due to breathing difficulties or anemia, it is amazing just how small one's world becomes.  Simply walking to another room leaves one panting for breath and so you make sure that 1) you really need to go there, and 2) you have everything with you before you go or already at your destination.  And once you reach where you want to go, you make sure that everything is within arms length or, like in my home office, within distance of how far you can push the office chair across the floor (trying not to run over your oxygen line in the process).  When something is not within easy reach, you find yourself asking "Do I really need this?" or you wait until someone happens by whom you can ask for help without being too much of a bother.  You wait to go to the washroom because you know that you will be out of breath by the time you get there, so you clamp down and show amazing self-discipline... until it's almost too late and then you end up having to move faster than you should, making you realize that you're a bit of an idiot for not going when you could still walk to the washroom at a leisurely pace.  Your bladder is always going to win anyway!

Your life becomes a collection of things you will probably need; facial tissue, pens/pencils, pads or assorted pieces of paper that you jot things down on before you forget, cell phone, book, wallet... that's about it.  You leave them in the places you typically haunt or you carry them in your pockets.  You try to remember to clean out your pockets each night though because it bugs your wife when she washes your sweat pants with tissues still in the pockets... or cell phones!

My life at home is limited to about 50 feet from my oxygen machine.  That's how long the line goes.  It's been at least two months since I have been in the bottom two levels of my house; too many stairs, too far away, no need to go there.  Don't even really care what's down there now; might as well be another planet.  Think my brother-in-law is sleeping down there the last few days. Hope he is comfortable; not that I am going to check though, to be honest (am I sounding a bit like Dr. House??).

Having lived so much of my life on a larger scale, this new smaller life has taken a bit of time to get used to. My world is largely my office a day or two a week, the top three floors of my home, and the hospital.  It’s not all bad. I don’t have to complain about not being at home anymore and not being to spend time with my wife and family!

I am getting used to it and guess what?  I am finding that I can still make a difference in the larger world, thanks to Skype, email, blogs, and cell phones.  It's not the size of your world that really matters. It's the size of your influence.  By God's grace, I am going to keep trying to make a difference for Him for as long as I can.  No matter how large or how small my world gets.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

At the office today

Had a great sleep last night and feeling great. so I decided to come into the office today. Praise the Lord!  Now, not to overdo it.  But man, it feels good to be here, even though a lot of the staff are gone (either on assignment overseas or, in Adele's case, graduating from university this weekend).