Thursday, December 3, 2009

Prodded, poked, and then zapped

As we are seeking to get to the bottom of what is causing me such pain in my bottom, it would appear that my lymph nodes in my abdomen are pressing in on some nerves causing me the pain that I have been experiencing over the past three weeks. So, starting tomorrow morning at 8:30, I will be beginning a round of radiation treatment that will last for five days. The doctors hope that this will shrink the nodes and ease up the pressure on my nerves, which would sure be nice. I must confess that this constant pain, though it waxes and wanes and is by far the most severe in the mornings, has really been hard on me emotionally.

It is amazing, of course, that we have been able to get these appointments so quickly. God’s hand is certainly at work in this.

But I am growing tired of going from one crisis to another with few breaks in between. I am saddened by changes in my life that I know have needed to be made but which leave me feeling like I will never be able to reach my potential. I watch how all of this wears my wife down and it hurts me to see her so tired and so burdened. Yes, we agreed to be in this “for better or for worse” but I would have liked to have given her more of the “for better.” And every time I start feeling good again and hope rises anew that perhaps I might be able to live out a little more of my life with some degree of normality, then I am struck down again with another affliction.

Yes, I am whining a bit. But is that so wrong from time to time?

It does mean that we need your prayers in the days to come. Please pray that this radiation treatment really will address this pain.


Lynn said...

praying for all of you; thanks for being honest.

JW said...

We all need to get our emotions out from time to time even if it feels like we are whinny. We are human and things in life just stink. I will remember you.

John in Fl
(enroute to Philippines on 12/4)

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you, but if you are sometimes feeling sorry for yourself, read something in Wurmbrandts tortured for your faith and then you realize that you don't have it as bad as some other christians.


Anonymous said...

No, Glenn, it is not wrong to whine. :) A good look at the Psalms tells me that David, and others, did a lot of whining. As long as in the end we look to God and give Him glory and trust Him in all, I don't think He wants us to fake happiness. He already knows what's in our hearts, and only by vocalizing how frustrated we are will God get the glory when we later share how good He has been.

Remi said...

No, i don't think it is wrong to be honest about one's feelings. I feel it opens one up to the comfort of the Father, by His spirit. It also produces in those who care a burden to pray more for your family.

Our God promised that when we hgo through fire (of sickness or any affliction), He will be with us still. We'll keep hanging on to his word and expect Him to bring relief and comfort to the heart.

We'll keep praying by his grace.

And i really feel like saying 'I'm sorry', though I don't quite know how appropriate that is. remi

Twyla said...

Whining's not a problem. Thanks for keeping us posted, Glenn. We love you.


Marilyn said...

Hi Glen!!
Didn't Jesus Him self cry out to God and say "Father why have you forsaken me"? I totally believes that in a situation you are in that it is not wrong and God understands and hears you. Plus I don't think it's called whining Glen. You are just frusterated with the pain and that is understandable. May God ease your pain and cover you.