Working at home today

I'll be working at home again today and probably for the rest of the week.  My immune system is pretty low and so I need to avoid people for the most part.  One piece of good news; I have finally transferred my care from Princess Margaret to Credit Valley Hospital here in Mississauga.  Less than a 1/3 of the distance and a nicer facility.  PMH were brilliant but the travel and the parking costs were killing us.  Tomorrow I go for my first transfusion at CVH. 

Thank you for praying

Thank you to each of you who have been praying for me over the last couple of days.  I am still in the hospital here in Toronto, but there is a good chance that I will get out tomorrow (which I am happy about).  I have been feeling much better today, my hemoglobin levels were up to 86 (which are still low, but on the border of what is acceptable for folks like me and a lot better than they were earlier this week).  And I am much more stable on my feet.

It was nice spending the day with Denita who spent all afternoon here.  While we didn't do alot but read papers and do crosswords, it was the best Valetine's Day date we have had for a long time.

Please pray that I can get out tomorrow.  While I enjoy the luxury facilities and gourmet cuisine served at Princess Margaret Hospital, I am eager to be spoiled by my own bed and my wife's cooking, even after only a day of deprivation. 

In the hospital

Yup, I am writing this from the hospital. On my way to get two more units of blood this morning, I developed a fever and so now they are giving me antibiotics and fluid to see if they can get whatever is wiping me out under control.  Thanks for praying

Two more units

Received two more units of blood today.  Sadly, the two I had on Monday only raised my hemoglobin half of what the doctors had hoped.  They have no idea what is causing this, but I go in on Friday for two more units and a CT scan on my sinuses (they've been giving problems; don't know if it is related or not).  All I know is that I am a little discouraged.  I have had to come to the realization that someday I would be turning a corner and not coming back to better health. The problem is, one never knows when that corner is turned.  So major setbacks like this do tend to take on a sense of finality, deserved or otherwise, only God knows.  So guess, it is better just to leave it in His hands.

Let me say one more thing; I am so grateful for those who donate blood.  I would be dead by now without these unknown heroes.  Never given blood, even though you can?  Then get off your butt and do it.  You never know whose life you might be saving!

Blood counts still low

My hemoglobin count was very low again yesterday (54; normal is 130-170).  So, after considerable delay, I was able to get a couple units of blood and will get two more on Wednesday.  Hence, I am working from home today but will need to take it easy.  I am grateful for a great staff who continues much of the work even when I can't.  The big issues that face me have to do with meetings that I have scheduled next month. I have no idea how I am going to be able to take them on if this continues. 

Please pray

Today I am feeling very weak and tired. Slept in until nearly 9:00 am. but can't get around except for the use of a cane. Hard to get up and down stairs and any real movement leaves me very short short of breath. I am getting pretty concerned. I am glad that I am going to clinic on Monday. I expect that they will want to be a series of tests. Denita is concerned about leaving me alone in case I fall, but as long as I am sitting at my desk on on the couch in the living room, I am okay. It's just a real pain living in a home with as many stairs as this one has.

Looking over at my cat who likes to sleep in my office in the afternoon when the sun shines in the window is quietly snoring and looks the picture of peace and contentment. Sometimes I envy her.

Another health update

Well, last Wednesday I finally received the two units of blood that I needed to get my hemoglobin levels up and I felt pretty good until Sunday when I started to really feel tired again.  Monday was pretty low but yesterday and today I am feeling slightly better but no where close to how I would like to feel nor am I operating at anywhere close to normal.  I still working full-time and while I find it a little hard to concentrate, I think I am doing okay.  Still, I realize the need to keep turning over responsibilities that I no longer need to handle so that I can concentrate on what I uniquely bring to the mission.

So, as of today, I am longer a part of the Persecution and Prayer Alert.  An email news service I starting 11 years ago, I am pleased to have staff who are able to carry this important ministry forward. 

So keep praying.

I'm grumpy

I've been grumpy again lately and I hate it!  Every now and then, I seem to get into these ruts where I have to really watch what I say and even then I am sure that I come off harsher than I would like.  Yes, I could excuse it on my health.  But I know that it's more than that.  Yes, it's part of my personality.  But that's not a good enough excuse. And yes, I am probably being harder on myself than I need to do be.  Now, that's a part of my personality!

I wish I could be like some of my friends and colleagues; more even tempered, patient and thoughtful. I yearn to be more like Christ but sometimes forget that He was impatient from time to time too.  This is no excuse for sinful behaviour, but perhaps it's time to give myself a bit of a break and stop flagellating myself so much.  Not all grumpiness is out of order.  I also tend to be preoccupied with trying to put on a front that really isn't me.  I tend to be obsessed when I think someone might be irritated with me. 

"Lord, help me to know the difference; to be quick confess when necessary and to stop worrying about what others think when it is appropriate."

Health update

As hinted at in an earlier blog, the past 2 weeks have been really busy at work and I has been feeling more and more unwell.  Very tired, short of breath and unable to do much of anything.... Yesterday, we found out why. My hemoglobin has taken a dive meaning that I am anemic.  The doctor told us that my white cell count is in the normal range which means the cancer seems to be under control at the moment. And that's certainly something to be grateful for since we were a bit concerned because the lymph nodes in my neck are growing again (here comes the bullfrog look again!). 

Anyway, I was supposed to get a couple units of blood today at Princess Maragret this morning. Alas, they messed up the order and nothing was ready when we arrived today and so we wasted a few hours and a trip to downtown (why is it that when the hospital makes a mistake, the patient usually ends up paying for it??).  So, back we go again tomorrow (and we are expecting 10-15 cm of snow tonight!).  Hopefully, I'll be feeling a bit better after the "top up" tomorrow.  The doctor wants to see me again in a couple of weeks to check my blood just to keep his eye on the hemoglobin levels.  So, after a nice break from having to go the hospital, now we are making more regular trips again (at least for a while). 

Thanks for your continued prayers.  They are much appreciated.

The trouble with Internet rumours

Over the past 11+ years that I have been on the Internet, I have continually been amazed and disappointed by tendency of intelligent people to believe the most outlandish things simply because a friend emailed it to them.  Take for example the continuing myth that Madalyn Murray O'Hair is still trying to get Christian broadcasting off the air and that James Dobson (or someone else) needs your helping in fighting her and so you should call or write the FCC to protest. This would be quite a feat since O'Hair disappeared in 1995 and her remains were discovered in 2001. I'd say that if she could still be trying to stop Christian broadcasting from the grave, we have much more serious problems than we think!

I just got another one sent to me this weekend about a young boy from Iran who was apparently punished for stealing bread by having a truck drive over his arm (complete with grimacing pictures of the lad).  Sorry, not true; simply a common magician's stunt. But it really upset one of our supporters who thought that it was yet another example of the horrors of sharia law. From my work with The Voice of the Martyrs, I would say that sharia law is bad enough without fabrications like this one.  In short, the truth is never enhanced by such fear mongering, only diminished. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked if an email warning of a serious computer virus was true.  As my brother who owns a computer company says, Microsoft (or CNN, or Norton, or AOL, etc.) has never "announced yesterday" about any virus to anyone anywhere warning that it is "worst virus ever" that will wipe out your computer's hard drive.  These messages are far from harmless in that they keep people from paying attention to real virus problems.  As one source put it, "hoax warnings are typically scare alerts started by malicious people - and passed on by innocent users who think they are helping the community by spreading the warning."  But they are not. So please don't forward them to all of your friends "just in case"!  I have even seen email "virus warnings" that instruct you to look for a specific file on your computer and to delete it, claiming that it is a virus.  Needless to say, some unfortunates have ended up deleting actual, legitimate operating files.  As Homer Simpson would be prone to say "D'oh!"  

We were recently forwarded some humorous (and apparently true) headline bloopers like "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks" and "Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers."  Unfortunately, lists of these bogus headlines have been reprinted over and over again claiming to be factual since at least 1987. Sure, they are harmless, but I was amazed to see some journalists actually publish them as late as last December as being actually true.

So, the next time you get some email from a friend that has been forwarded by a friend that has been forwarded by a friend and which 1) is warning you of some danger, encouraging you to take action and/or to forward the email to all of your friends, or 2) tells some story that seems a little "off" but claims to be factual (but which the government or a company "doesn't want you to know"), or 3) seems too good or funny to believe, may I encourage to do three things:

1. Check one or more than one of the following sites: 

• snopes.com
• truthorfiction.com
• Symantec virus hoaxes
• F-secure hoax warnings

2. If the story is found to be a hoax, please let the person who sent it to you know, urging them to inform all those whom they sent the email the actual truth, and to please check their facts before sending you such emails again.

3. Delete the email and pat yourself on the back for being a responsible Internet user.